The Black Parade
by ToxikCherrys
Summary: I don't know how many chapters yet story. This is my first story, so I would like reviews on it, and any ideas would be good as well It's about MCR incase any of you don't know.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Cancer

"Hells, are you okay?" Frank asked, looking concerned.

I looked at him, sort of confused. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You dropped your coffee on the table and it went all over your hand." Mikey told me, "You can't feel it?"

"No." I answered. The doctors had told me that this might happen in the final days before I died.

"You're gonna want to run some cold water on that, Hells." Gerard said, sitting down at the table with his lunch. Ray and Bob were right behind him.

"Ouch." Ray said, sitting next to Mikey, "That must have hurt."

"I can't feel anything."

"Always brave. Last week you got guitar burn and didn't even complain." Ray reminded me.

"I remember that." Frank said, "We didn't even know she had it."

I chuckled. "Well I better go and run some water on my hand." I told them, getting up and grabbing my bag, "See you later."

They still didn't know that my cancer had recurred. I didn't want them to be upset while I was dying. I didn't even want to remember what the doctor had told me, but it rang clear in my head.

_I was in the oncologist's office waiting for my results._

_They had done a CT scan, blood work, spinal tap and nearly every other cancer test known to man._

_"Hello, Helena." The doctor said. We were on first name terms. He had been my last oncologist._

_"Hey, Ted." I replied._

_He sat down behind his desk with all my test results. The look on his face didn't make me feel reassured that everything was alright._

_"I'm so sorry…" He started, but he didn't need to finish his sentence; I knew what he was going to say._

_"It's recurred." I finished, and began to cry._

_All he did was nod. "We can give you chemo again, but all it will do is give you a few more months more than you already have."_

_"There's nothing that you can do?"_

_"The cancer's too aggressive this time. It's in your brain, lungs, heart, stomach and liver." He told me, "You'll find that sometimes you won't be able to feel some things, like touch or pain when the end starts to come._

_"You won't be able to run or ice skate in competitions anymore, but you'll be able to walk and play your instruments. Don't push yourself though. The more you do, the sicker you'll get."  
"Okay."_

_"Do you want to have the chemo?"_

_"No. And I don't want to live in the hospital again. When I get too sick to do anything by myself, then I shall come to the hospital and stay here until my end."_

_"Okay, but you will have to come in for tests to see how far it's spread."_

I had to tell them at some point, so I ran my hand under some cold water and walked back to the hall. They were still there, to my relief, and I went and sat down again.

"The hand's looking better." Bob commented, and everybody agreed with him.

Tears formed in my eyes. They were going to be so hurt.

"What's wrong, Hells?"

"You can tell us anything, you know? We'll always be here for you."

The tears escaped from my eyes. "T-the cancer's come b-back."

They sat in shock for a couple of minutes, not quite knowing what to say or do.

"They can give you chemo and you'll get better again."

I shook my head. "Chemo won't work this time. It's too aggressive. I already can't feel some things."

"How long have you known about this? And what does it have to do with you not being able to feel?" Ray asked.

More tears fell.

"It's not just in my liver this time. It's in my stomach, lungs, heart and… and my brain."

They then realized why I couldn't feel the pain when I got guitar burn and dropped the coffee.

"So… You're gonna die?" Mikey asked. He'd always been the more child-like of us all.

I nodded. "You remember last time I got sick?" I asked and he nodded, "And I said that the Black Parade would look after me?"

"You said that you would be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned."

"That's right, and I promise you that I will defeat my demons and all the non-believers." I told him.

He looked up at me, tears filling his hazel eyes. "I don't want you to die." He sobbed.

"It's gonna be fine, Mikes. My time here is over, but you have a long, happy life here. You'll get married, and have kids and go on tour as the bassist of My Chemical Romance."  
"But it's not gonna be the same without you though."

Mikey got up and left the hall; not bothering to pick up his rubbish and put it in the bin.

I got up and went after him. If I could have run, I would have; but I was too weak.

I walked to the Orange Blossom tree behind the college. All of us came here when we were upset or just needed to think.

"You know you shouldn't run away like that?" I shouted, making him jump.

"You could have run after me."

"I can't, Mikes. I can just about walk."

He looked up at me, shock in his eyes. "Is that how bad it is?"

"Yes." I answered, sitting down next to him, "I didn't want you guys to be upset. That's why I didn't say anything till now."

He started crying again and I wrapped my arms around him, bringing him into a hug.

"Why do you have to leave me, Hells?" He sobbed into my shirt, hugging me back, "Why can't you stay with us?"

"I wish I could stay with you, Mikes. I really do."

His tears started to stain my red shirt, but I didn't care. I loved him more than a friend, but had never had the courage to say anything to him.

I started singing 'Hells Bells' by 'AC/DC' to him. It was the nickname he had given me when we'd first met, and I thought it might help calm him down.

Halfway through the song he interrupted me. I immediately stopped singing to listen to him.

"When did you find out that you had cancer again?" He asked.

"I found out a couple of months ago when I got in from my morning run." I answered.

"Was that the day when you collapsed as soon as you got in?"

"Yes. That was the most painful hospital visit ever."

I felt him chuckle on my shoulder. Feeling him laugh made me want to laugh as well.

He laughed a little more and I couldn't help it anymore, and began laughing with him.

"Just remember me as I was, Mikey." I told him, "I don't want to be remembered as sad and crying. I want to be remembered as happy and smiling through the tough times."  
He nodded. "I will, Hells. And I always will remember you like that; bright, violet eyes, beautiful, fun to be with and a kick-ass collection of music and instruments."

"Thanks." I said, hugging him tightly and kissing his cheek.

We stayed like this for a couple more minutes before I said, "I'm gonna miss you the most, Mikes."

"How long do you have left, Hells?" He asked.

"They said I had about two weeks. Maybe less. They can't be sure." I answered truthfully, hoping I hadn't made him even more upset than he already was.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Helena

Soon enough the others joined us by the Orange Blossom tree. All of them were carrying different items in their hands.

"Thought you'd be here." Gerard shouted at us.

"Where else would we be?" I shouted back, before coughing.

They all rushed over to me and Mikey, not bothering to drop anything that they were carrying.

All of them started to crowd me and were asking whether I was okay and 'what did I need?'

"I need for all of you to back off and get me some water." I was able to shout over them.

"Right." Bob said before asking, "And where do we get that from?"

I stared at them in shock. "None of you have some water in your bags or lockers or somewhere secret which only you know about? Haven't I taught you anything?"

Mikey stood up and then helped me to my feet. "They never carry anything important. You should know that."  
I laughed. "I know that. I was just thinking that they would have learnt something from me by now."

Mikey laughed with me. "They only carry school books 'cause they have to."

"Not true." Frank mumbled before jumping on Bob's back, and shouting, "Ride my trusty steed."

Bob laughed before he let go of Frank; letting him fall to the ground and landing on his butt. "No, Iero. How many times do I have to tell you?"

Frank thought about it for a second before answering, "As many times as I've done it."

This reminded me of when I first met them, almost seven years ago.

_It had been pretty boring at home so I'd decided to go for a walk, get to know the area and stuff. But most importantly, I wanted to draw and think._

_In the past week, I had moved from my hometown, Glasgow, and moved to somewhere almost halfway round the world from there, to Belleville, New Jersey. I hadn't wanted to move from Glasgow, but mama got a promotion and it was all the way out here. My brother was old enough to have his own house and job, so he hadn't come with us, but I wasn't old enough and he had said that he didn't want me living with him 'cause he didn't want me to 'cramp his style'. As if._

_Well, at least I had photos and drawings of us together._

_Suddenly, I heard a voice yell, "Give that back, you midget," and I immediately turned my head to see who it was._

_There were five boys sitting in a small circle across the other side of the park. One had raven black hair, another two had almost the exact shade of light brown hair; but one had glasses, one had dark brown hair; but from a distance it looked black, and the last had blond hair._

_"Never, vampire." The shortest guy yelled back before getting up and running._

_I just shook my head and put my headphones in; turning on Green Day's Basket Case. Little did I know what was about to happen. One second I was on my feet and then next I was hit by something hard; landing flat on my back with the 'midget' laying on top of me._

_"You know, if you wanted to be hugged, you could have just asked me instead of tackling me." I joked in my, thick, Scottish accent._

_He groaned and rolled off of me. "That really hurt. I never knew the ground was that hard."  
I rolled my eyes. "You landed on me, not the ground, so don't be cheeky." I told him, sitting up._

_The one with the black hair went up to the boy laying on his back and took the black, leather-bound book from his hands and said, "I'm not helping you up, Frankie. You fell down, you get up."_

_"But, Gee…" The one named Frankie pleaded._

_"No 'but's, Frankie. I shall help the lovely lady up cause you knocked her over." Gee said, offering out his pale hand._

_I took it and he hauled me up to my feet._

_"Thanks." I mumbled, picking up my sketch pad._

_"I'm Gerard, and the one laying on the floor is Frank." He introduced himself, and then whispered, "Frank is just a bit hyper and energetic, just to let you know."_

_I laughed a little. "I think I gathered that from him calling you a vampire and running."_

_Gerard was a little taken aback by my heavy accent, but never broke the conversation. "I'm guessing that you're from somewhere in Scotland. Me and my brother are half Scottish."_

_"You are correct. I'm from Glasgow and, my mama and me just moved here." I told him, "And I'm guessing that your brother is the short-ass lying on the floor."_

_"No, he's not. My brother is over there." He said, pointing to the guys over the other side of the park, "Come on. Let me introduce you to them."_

_"Oh, okay." I mumbled, kinda feeling stupid for being wrong, "Let's go."_

_We walked over to the others, who looked up as they saw us approach them._

_"It looks as though Gerard has a 'girlfriend' now. We should have a party." The one with the afro said._

_I started laughing, but Gerard just shook his head._

_"She's not my girlfriend. Guys, this is…" It finally occurred to him that he hadn't asked for my name._

_"I'm Helena. But most people call me Hells."_

_"Right. Helena, this is Ray." He said, pointing to the guy with the afro, "Bob." Pointing to the one with the blond hair, "And my brother, Mikey." Pointing to the last one with the glasses and light brown hair._

_"Nice contacts, Hells." Bob told me, pointing at my eyes, "Where did you get them from? I bet Gerard will fight you for them."_

_I looked away, hiding my eyes. I'd always been bullied for having violet eyes. "They're not contacts. I was born with them like this. The doctors don't know why._

_"Well, they're really cool." Ray said._

_"You're not gonna call me a mutant?" I asked in a shocked voice._

_They looked at me like I was mad and started laughing._

_"Why would we call you a mutant?"_

_"It's just that everybody else does."_

_"Well we won't. We promise."_

_"Us outcasts gotta stick together, haven't we?" Gerard said, smacking me on the back._

_I smiled. "We have. Together, we can take on the world."_

_By this time Frank had got up and made his way to us. "Bob gimme a lift home, please."_

_"Walk yourself home." Bob told him, "I'm not carrying you all the way to your home."_

I got into the canteen and picked up a bottle of still water from one of the shelves.

"See, this is all you need to have in your bag." I told them, "Now you remember that."

"Yes, mom." They all replied in unison, causing me and them to laugh.

Suddenly, it was like everything blurry; everything hurt. My head pounded, my chest started to close on me. The bottle of water fell from my hands.

"Hells?" Mikey asked, "Are you okay?"

All I was able to do shake my head before everything around me went black… I knew that this was the end.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The End

I woke up with the familiar sound of the heart monitor filling the room.

'Great.' I thought, 'I'm in the hospital again.'

Looking over to my left I saw that everybody's parents were by my bedside… but the guys weren't. Where were they? They should be by my side as I laid here dying.

"Where are they?" I asked, not really talking to anybody. All I wanted was an answer.

"Oh, honey." Mrs Way exclaimed, "You're awake. The doctors said that you wouldn't."

I asked the question again. I wanted an answer to why my friends weren't by my side like they were the last time.

Before anybody could answer my question, a loud, clear voice came from one of the hospital tannoys around the hospital.

"Code blue in Trauma one. Code blue." And it went dead.

The pain in both Mr and Mrs Way's eyes told me exactly where they were. The look of 'Oh God. We've lost them'. They were in Trauma one.

I immediately took off the pressure monitor from my finger, the pads from my chest and the IV from my arm before bolting from my hospital room.

When I got to the room that had 'Trauma 1' on the door, I didn't hesitate for a second before bursting through the double doors. The sight that met me was not one that I ever wanted to see.

Five beds filled the room. Four of them had white sheets coving something, or somebody, from head to toe. The other bed had doctors and nurses surrounding it. It looked as if they were trying to revive the person in their care.

"We've lost him. Let's call it." One of the doctors announced, looking at the clock, "Time of death… twelve twenty pm."

Although I didn't want to admit it to myself, I knew that all my friends were dead.

I slowly walked up to the bedside; standing next to the doctors. I knew it was one of my friends, just which one I didn't know.

On the bed before me, I saw the angelic face if Mikey. He looked like he was sleeping; only he was covered in cuts and bruises, blood and scars.

"How did this happen?" I asked, making everybody jump. They hadn't realized that I was even in the room.

"He was in an accident." One of the doctors told me.

I clenched my fists into balls. "Well no shit Sherlock he was in an accident. What I wanna know is how it happened to him and my friends?" Pointing to the four other beds at the other side of the large room.

The doctor looked at me dumbfounded. He hadn't expected me to react like that.

"They drove right into the path of a lorry. It's a miracle that they lasted as long as they did. All of them lasted until the got to the hospital and most people with their kind of injuries would be dead by the time the paramedics got to the scene." He told me, ushering the other doctors and nurses out of the room, "We'll give you a minute with them."

Why would I want a minute? My best, and only, friends had killed themselves cause they thought I was dead. That was the only answer I could come up with.

"Why?" I asked, knowing I wasn't going to get an answer; I just wanted to speak, "Why would you do this to me? Leave me alone to die without my best friends by my side to tell me that it was going to be okay.

"Not only do I have to die alone… I have to live the rest of my short life with the guilt of knowing that it was my fault that you died. So thank you for that."

I didn't like the idea of dying alone or living with the guilt of 'killing' my friends, so I was going to do something that I hadn't done in months… Cut. I grabbed my dog tags.

Nobody knew this, but I kept razors on the back of them so that Gerard, Mikey, Bob, Ray and Frank couldn't find anything that I could harm myself with. They knew that I self-harmed, but didn't know where I kept the sharp objects.

I'd almost died once and this time I was going to do it right. I was actually going to die. Nobody was here to save me like Mikey had the last time.

_I held the razor in my hand and was just about to cut when…_

_"Hey, Hells." It was Mikey. Shit I had to do this fast. "The guys are just grabbing a few things from our house and then coming straight over for movie night."_

_"Okay. I'll be out in a few minutes." I shouted from the bathroom, just a few feet from him; holding the razor against my skin._

_He laughed. "Don't stay in there too long though. The guys will get antsy if you do. They really want to get to watch the movies."_

_The razor went across my skin with little pain. It was just the relief I needed at this point._

_I heard some faint laughter coming down the stairs to my room in the basement. They were here._

_"Common Hells. We wanna start." Frankie shouted._

_"Just start without me. The DVD is loaded and in the player. I might be a long time."_

_"Suit yourself." Gerard said, "Let's get this party started."_

_The blade went across an already made scar and straight through the vein. I didn't want to live anymore._

_It started bleeding profusely and I fell to the floor._

_The people on the DVD were screaming, so none of the five boys in my room would notice the quiet thud as I hit the floor._

_I placed the razor behind the dog tag again and just lay there, waiting for my fate to come._

I looked back on that scar and got the razor from where it was carefully placed.

"I'm gonna join you guys. Don't think you can get rid of me that easily." I said, running the blade against the partially faded scar on my skin.

Knowing from experience that it wasn't going to be enough, I went to my other wrist and went straight into the vein again.

It still wasn't going to be enough. Although I was feeling woozy from blood loss, the doctors could still save me if they found me in time and got it under control, so I went to my thigh.

I knew that the femoral artery was there and, if cut, you'd bleed out in a couple of minutes with no hope of being saved.

Running the blade against the thin skin of my thigh, I knew I had hit the artery when it started bleeding heavily.

I dropped the razor and fell to the hard, hospital floor; which was covered in my fresh, red blood.

"See you soon guys." I whispered, closing my eyes; feeling my heart slowly stop beating.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Dead!

I thought that death would be quick and painless; but it wasn't. It was more painful than I thought it would be.

It didn't really hurt when the blade sliced through my skin but as the oxygen stopped pumping round my body, every muscle hurt. My head pounded from the amount of blood I had lost.

Death was meant to peaceful, not feel like you are being ripped apart very slowly with no aesthetic or pain relief.

All I wanted to do was scream, but no sound came out. I wanted to see what was around me, but everything was black.

Is this what I'd condemned my friends to life of? No sound and no sight. What kind of person am I? The kind that's selfish? Or the kind that cares?


End file.
